Past Won't Go Away
by TheBoglies
Summary: A new story from Sammi - see what it would have been like in Glenbogle if Paul was laird, and Lexie and Archie were not married to each other.
1. Part 1

Past won't go away: Story of my life – Day one 

****

**You say it was like this, **

**I was torn between two worlds,**

**One full of promise,**

**And the truth I knew would hurt,**

Archie jumped up in the Silver Suzuki and into the driver's seat, adjusting this seat backwards and started up the car, reaching across and putting on his seat belt. Once again it was time for the annual 4-month visit to Glenbogle that him and the rest of his family took, he smiled towards his wife as he thought how wonderful it would be.

Lexie sat in the passenger seat tapping her fingernails on the dashboard in tune with the music coming out of the radio, as the channels changed frequently as they drove up to Glenbogle, she was filled with excitement as the countryside stretched out infront of her. She couldn't wait to catch up on the gossip with Molly, hear Golly's tales and see how Paul was doing as Laird. Oh and not forgetting Duncan and Jess, Lexie wondered how they were getting on together.

Archie took a quick glance back to check the kids, they were sound asleep, it had been quite a drive up here. He smiled to himself as he thought about how much his mother would be pleased to see them again, like she always was and would spoil them while they stayed for the two weeks.

Suddenly Lexie sat up bolt right in her seat. The sign for Glenbogle had come into view and excitement filled the air as the familiar surroundings of the village shop, the post office and the pub appeared as they drove past.

"Nearly there" Archie commented as they drove into Glenbogle estate over the bridge and along the scenic roads to the house, where they then continued down the gravel drive to park outside the house.

Lexie walked inside and was greeted by Molly with outstretched arms. "Lexie" Molly called as she hugged Lexie tight then releasing her from her gasp. "Molly how are you?" Lexie asked, happy to be inside the house and with Molly once again. "Oh me I'm fine, how about you dear?" Molly replied. "Oh good as always" Lexie answered "So where are the others?"

"I don't know dear why don't you go and have a look for them?" Molly suggested, as Lexie gave her a glittery smile and walked off towards the kitchen corrider.

"Mother" Archie called as he entered the hallway and greeted her with a kiss and a hug. Two small children excitedly ran out behind him and nearly knocked poor Molly off her feet. She knelt down and wrapped her arms around them, giving them each a kiss on their heads, before they ran off again.

"Well there not in the kit..chen" Lexie stopped dead, her eyes settled on Archie's, she opened her mouth but closed it again, she couldn't speak, she couldn't move she just stood there infront of them. Eventually she managed to mutter a "Archie" as the sound escaped from her lips.

Silence cleared the room. Until Molly spoke "Oh it's so nice to have all the family together again" Molly commented as she stood between Archie and Lexie.

You do not know how much this hurts me

Archie stood still in the silence until Amber's polite little cough broke it. "Um Lexie this is Amber... my wife" Archie announced, Lexie was stunned. She took her attention away from Archie to the petite woman standing beside him, first thing she noticed was that Amber was thin, really thin, Lexie couldn't help suddenly holding in her own stomach. She wasn't big, but since being pregnant with Ami, she hadn't really got back to her original size, not that it bothered Lexie, but she felt intimidated.

Looking up to her face, Lexie could see how she had got her name 'Amber' it was from her lovely brownish, red hair that fell in waves to her shoulders, it made her look younger, like Archie had married some 15year old. Then her face, Lexie had to admit she was pretty, with clear slightly tanned skin and wide blue eyes a bit like Lexie's own. Then again she was Archie's wife, she would be pretty and thin.

I've had you so many times, but somehow I want more

"Hi, nice to meet you" Lexie managed through a fake smile as she held out her hand infront of her and Amber shook it back, business like.

"So you and Lexie are siblings? Cousins?" Amber asked, taking the 'Family' comment from Molly. Lexie let out a giggle, which made Amber tense up with the fact she realised she was wrong.

"No, no, no" Lexie continued

"Lexie's just a..." Archie mumbled

"An old friend" Lexie finished, staring at Archie. Archie realised the stare was one in hadn't seen in five years, and as her Blue eyes twinkled and she tucked her newly highlighted brown wavy hair behind her ear and gave a cute smile, it suddenly hit Archie that he had missed this.

I know I need to step up and be strong

Amber seeing the gaze bought up conversation. "So Lexie...do you have a husband?" Amber asked out of interest. Lexie smiled for once at Amber, and briskly turning and walking back to the door and called out "Max sweetie"

Archie watched as a taller man, taller than him self appeared in the doorway carrying a small child, who was tightly hanging on. He put his arm protectively around Lexie's neck and pulled her closer as he planted a kiss on her nose and she let out a giggle, then the child held out her little arms towards Lexie and called "mummy" in a twang of Scottish accent. Lexie took the child from Max and the little girl nested her head on Lexie's shoulder and twisted Lexie's hair in her little hand.

"Archie, this is Max, my husband" Lexie announced. Archie looked up to see Max smiling at him, he was happy, mind you why wouldn't he be, he was married to Lexie. Max had brown spiky hair, a bit like the hairstyle Archie had, and Max had deep green eyes, that seemed to watch over Lexie. A suddenly feeling inside Archie made him want to feel protective, only it wasn't like before, Max wasn't Stuart, and he wasn't some dodgy bloke taking Lexie for the ride, this was her husband.

"Pleased to meet you Archie, I've heard lots about you" Max's deep voice accompanied his handshake, this made Archie feel uneasy, what had Lexie told Max about him?

"So who is this little one?" Archie asked turning his attention away from Max and to the little child in Lexie's arms.

"This is our daughter Ami, she's two" Lexie replied as Ami turned her head to look at Archie. Archie smiled at the little girl in her arms, she had the same soft black hair as Lexie had done, and had got them big blue eyes, to Archie she looked just like Lexie and he couldn't see any comparison with Ami and Max.

"She's Beautiful" Archie mentioned then paused "Just like her mum" he added. Lexie smiled and so did Ami, as if she knew.

Pains the only way to happiness

"We have children too" Amber butted in, talking in a posh voice, which made Lexie suddenly uncomfortable.

"Owen and Sapphire Macdonald come here please" Amber called, and to Lexie's amazement two small children ran up obediently stood beside Amber. Archie gave her a smile, but she didn't return it, he then went to speak but again was overpowered. "Owen here is four" Amber said holding the little boy by his shoulders, he had both Amber's blue eyes and her brownish, red hair, and he looked just as thin, it made Lexie worried just looking at him. "And this is Sapphire, she's two" Amber continued. Lexie looked down at the little girl, she looked scared and her little body jumped as Amber put her hands on her shoulders. She had dark hair like Archie and it was wavy like Amber's, and she had Amber's big blue eyes too.

"What lovely names" Lexie commented, not quite knowing what else to say. "I picked them both" Amber boasted. Lexie could tell from Archie's attempted smile that he was overpowered.

"Oh Hello" Paul's voice came from the stairs.

"Paul" Archie and Lexie said together then laughed. Paul looked at them both staring up at him. They were here together? Surely not?


	2. Part 2

**Past wont go away: Story of my life – Day 2**

**You Say I'm no Angel,**

**Trying to put the past behind,**

**So now I try to find,**

**A place to leave all,**

**Memories in my mind**

"Morning Arch" Lexie laughed as Archie came down into the kitchen and raised a hand in effort of saying hi. He sat down at the table opposite Ami and Sapphire. "What we got girls?" Archie asked. Two sets of bright blue eyes stared back at him, scrambled egg shined from around their mouths and their white teeth shined. "Hggs" they announced in their best efforts of saying 'Eggs'.

Lexie placed a plate down infront of Archie, "Important things in life hey" she added. "Thanks Lex" Archie replied, picking up a silver spoon and putting some egg onto it. Lexie sighed and sat down next to him, she was exhausted, Ami had woke early and Lexie had been awake ever since, making breakfast for the house. "It's kinda scary how they both look so alike isn't" Archie commented, watching both girls finish their eggs and soldiers. Lexie laughed, "Yeh I suppose they do, it's the hair colour and eyes I think" Lexie exclaimed.

"Where's Amber and Max?" Archie suddenly asked, noticing that they were alone eating breakfast. "Um...Amber muttered something about a diet and then disappeared leaving Sapphire here for you, and then I made Max and Duncan breakfast and then they took Owen out with them" Lexie explained. "You really are superwoman aren't you?" Archie laughed.

"Archie you know that the kitchen is my place" Lexie replied giving him a smile as she got up and fetched some wipes and began cleaning the girls up. "Right, now to get you too dressed" Lexie said as she lifted each girl off the chair.

"I'll help" Archie announced finishing his breakfast.

"Arch, you don't have too I'll be fine" Lexie insisted

"No, no its no problem" Archie replied

"Ok then" Lexie laughed, as the four walked upstairs.

He's not giving anything away, what is he thinking?

When they were upstairs in the room Max and Lexie were staying in, and were dressing the girls in fairy dresses, due to Ami's choice. "So Arch...How come we have both been visiting here for five years, yet we haven't seen each other at all?" Lexie asked out of curiosity, she had been thinking about it since dinner last night, when Molly had mentioned that they had both been visiting for the past five years.

"Well, I was thinking the same thing, apparently Paul said it was mother's idea, she thought." Archie suddenly cut off, it had been fine when Paul was explaining to him, but how could he tell Lexie his mother had done it because she knew they both had, had feelings for each other.

Lexie stopped what she was doing and looked up at Archie. "She thought what?" Lexie asked, blue eyes wide and with questions.

"That er" Archie panicked, Lexie was waiting for an answer that Archie didn't partially want to answer. Archie rubbed his head as if he had forgotten, Lexie knew what he was doing but as usual didn't let on. "Don't matter, I'll talk to Molly later" she replied.

"Hey do you want to go for a walk down by the shore?" Lexie asked as they carried the girls down the stairs. "Yeh sure why not, it's a beautiful day" Archie replied as he gazed out the window.

The girls ran ahead of Archie and Lexie, screaming as the little waves hit the sand and came near their feet. "So you and Amber settled down pretty quickly" Lexie mentioned, she didn't want it to sound like it had done, but she thought that they had married and had kids pretty quickly, mind you that had been what Archie had wanted once, kids, a family. It's what Lexie had wanted, only she was looking for Mr.Right and she wanted her own time before she settled down with kids. She felt her and Max had been together a good year and a bit before marrying and then waited another two years before deciding to have Ami.

Archie realised where Lexie was going with this. "Oh no, you see after you er left...as you know Paul turned up and well I went away for a bit, and that's when I met Amber, she already had a little boy Owen." Archie explained. "Ooo" Lexie chorused

"Anyway we ended up getting engaged, and I brought her back here, but well she couldn't quite get the hang of being a laird's wife, she said she preferred to be behind a desk in Manchester. So then I decided as Paul, the rightful eldest son, he should take over my role and be laird, it took a lot of persuading, but mother and Golly were supportive and helped him."

I wish I could read what her eyes are sayin'

Staring straight and not blinking

"Ah I heard that much, its what happened after I never got to hear about" Lexie informed Archie. "Well then once we got married, I adopted Owen, to make him my son and then Amber fell pregnant with Shapphy"

"Then you visited here every four months, and so did I, but Molly never let them mix..." Lexie continued

"Until now" Archie finished.

"Hmm...Weird" Lexie mumbled as she looked out onto the loch, the wind blew back her hair. Archie could see how beautiful she looked; yet her mind seemed distant. She was looking at the mountains, the way the clouds hovered around the top of them, yet the sun shone down and reflected off the loch and the waves lapped around her.

Somewhere deep inside you must know that I miss you

Archie spotted Ami heading for the water and quickly ran over to stop her; he picked both girls up and started walking back. He could see Max walking up quietly behind Lexie. Lexie felt warm arms wrap around her and she laid her head on his shoulder. "Max" she shouted in surprise.

"Who did you think it was?" Max laughed.

Lexie saw Archie put down Ami in the distance as she ran towards her parents and Archie turned and carried on walking with Sapphire waving over his shoulder.

"You ok?" Max asked noticing his wife's distant look.

"Wha? Oh yeh I'm fine" Lexie replied

"You sure...you've got that look" Max laughed

Lexie didn't reply she bent down and picked up her excited daughter and continued to walk in towards the road back to the house.

"Hey Lex wait up" Max called behind, running to catch up.


	3. Part 3

The Past won't go away: Story of my life – Day 3

****

**We try our lives away,**

**Then stumble to the grave,**

**We cry, and still we say,**

**The past won't go away,**

**Story of my life**

"Morning mother" Archie announced as he entered the drawing room. "Morning dear, how are you today?" Molly asked cheerful.

"Ok" Archie replied half heartily. Molly glanced up at her son's grim expression. He had his hands in his pockets; he looked lost, like he didn't know what to do with him self. "Lexie's gone out with Max to the village" Molly commented, knowing this is what her son was wondering. "Oh has she" Archie answered, trying to sound like he wasn't bothered about it.

"Why don't you and Amber go out for a bit? I'll look after the wee ones, give you two a break, some time by yourselves" Molly suggested. Archie sighed, and then shrugged. "Thanks, I'll see if she wants to"

Well its taken me a while to see, your not so special

"Amber do you want to go down to the village for a while?" Archie asked his wife as he approached her in their bedroom. Amber was holding Sapphire up on the bed and trying to put her hair in bunches but as she did one, Sapphire pulled out the other one. "Sapphire Please!" Amber yelled at the child. Sapphire pouted and looked up at her angry mother, but Amber wasn't looking at her any longer. "Owen, leave them alone" Amber shouted at the little boy who was now sitting cross legged on the floor and pulling out things from her handbag. Amber left the bedside, throwing down the brush on the bed beside Sapphire, and went to rescue her contents of her bag. Archie smiled at his daughter and picked up the brush. He had watched Lexie do it yesterday; it didn't look that hard to do. He took her two hair elastics from Sapphire's hand and put them on his wrist as he gently brushed her hair, then parting her hair down the middle, concentrating on getting it straight. Sapphire giggled to herself as Archie spoke to her "Lets see if Daddy can give this a go"

He got one section of hair and in his best attempt scrapped it into a bunch and then got the elastic from his wrist and put it round the hair, "How does this go? Ok not that way obviously…oh I get it…right here we go…there done" Archie stepped back to observe his first attempt of putting hair up. "Right now the other one, now keep it in for daddy please Sapphy?"

It's a thought…only a thought

Archie finished the other one as he held up the mirror for Sapphire to see. She smiled back at him showing all her tiny white teeth glittering "Good daddy". Ok so they were a little wonky, and maybe not straight but they would do. "Sorry Arch what did you say?" Amber asked standing up and clutching her handbag in hand.

"Did you want to go down to the village?" Archie repeated

"YES" Amber answered immediately. Archie laughed to himself.

"Ok then, Owen come on we're going downstairs now. Sapphy come here," Archie informed, picking up Sapphire from the bed.

"I wish you wouldn't nickname her that" Amber commented, but Archie chose to ignore it and carried on downstairs.

"Ah Paul, thanks" Archie laughed as his half-brother appeared on the landing. Archie handed Sapphire to Paul and then Archie took Ambers hand as they walked down the stairs. "Archie!" Paul's voice echoed as they went out the front door.

Why do you make something so easy so complicated?

Lexie and Max sat outside the tearooms sharing a cup of tea together in the sunshine, as they relaxed from the long walk they had just had from the house. "So, are you enjoying yourself so far?" Max asked Lexie as she took a sip from her cup. Lexie swallowed her mouthful and smiled, "It's been…interesting" Lexie replied, searching for the right word.

"So you had no idea he was married"

"Max, from what I've heard of Archie in the last five years, I wouldn't have even known if he existed still"

"That bad hey?"

"I just didn't think to ask, maybe I didn't want to, I don't know"

"I'm not sure what I think of his wife though"

"Oh trust me, from what think, she's Justine and Katrina mixed into one"

"I take it you're not best of friends then"

"To tell you the truth, I haven't really spoken to her, maybe the four of us should have a drink tonight, back at the house?"

"Good idea, that way we can all get to know each other a bit better"

"Aye"

"Hey isn't that Archie's four by four just pulled up over there?"

Lexie looked across, as Archie got out of the car and Amber the other side. She wondered what they were saying as they stood on the pathway as Amber pointed in one direction and Archie shook his head and pointed the other way. Then Amber had said something, Archie sighed and then they had gone off in the direction Amber had pointed to. "Poor man" Lexie sympathised.

"So what do you want to do now we're here?" Max asked changing the subject. "Umm…" Lexie hesitated.

"Molly…help" Paul called as he entered the door.

Molly laughed at the site before her, Paul was carrying Sapphire, and Owen had hold of his hand and was attempting to swing from it.

"Saph!" Ami yelled as she slided down from Molly's lap.

Paul put down Sapphire and came and sat beside Molly. "What are you doing?" he asked as he saw a box of photos by her side and the one in her hand was off Archie and Lexie holding Champaign.

"Oh just showing Ami some pictures" Molly replied as she held up another one to show Paul. "That's Duncan dancing with Lexie, why's she in a big red dress?" Paul asked as he pointed to the picture.

Molly smiled, "Well it was the mid-summers ball, and Lexie had got this lovely red dress to wear, but well things went a bit wrong and she ended up in the kitchen all night, I went in and she was washing up some plates, I thanked her for tonight but she said Archie had just been in and done so." Molly paused, Paul still looked confused, "Then Duncan came along and tried to cheer her up, he made her go put her dress on and that's a picture of him making her dance" Molly explained.

"That was sweet of him, oh look Archie's there too" Paul pointed out "But he looks upset" Paul added as he pointed out Archie in the background, he looked distant minded and was staring straight forward. Molly held her glasses and peered closer "So he does," she simply said.

Somewhere deep inside, you must know that I miss you

"ARCHIE" Lexie shouted at him from a distance. Archie and Amber turned round; Lexie was waving and pulling Max along with her as she ran to catch them up. "Oh great" Amber mumbled under her breath. Archie ignored her and waved back, when Lexie and Max caught up, both slightly out of breath, Lexie laughed.

"You gaun back?"

"Yeah, you want a lift?"

"That would be great thanks"

"No problem"

On the way home in the car, Lexie tried to start conversations but the rest of the car stayed pretty silent. "I was thinking we could all have a drink tonight" Lexie announced. "That sounds good" Archie answered immediately.

"Good, ok then that's settled" Lexie smiled

"Ok Lexie…Red wine or Tequila?" Archie asked holding up the two bottles, as Lexie gave him a grin back, "Either but not mixed" she replied amused, as Archie did too. "Not anything for me thanks Arch" Amber replied.

"What Amber, you have to have a drink, come on it will be laugh" Lexie insisted. "No, I'm quite alright" Amber refused.

"Oh ok…" Lexie responded

"Red wine for me please Archie" Max replied

Archie came over with some drinks on a tray. "Lex could you move that box for me please" Archie called to her as he came near the table.

"Yeh sure" Lexie replied as she picked up the heavy box. "What's in here? It weighs a ton"

Archie put the tray down and handed out the drinks. "Um don't know, mother had it this morning, think she was planning on showing Ami something she said" Archie responded not really looking at the box.

"Aww…look its all the old pictures!" Lexie yelled

"Woah Lexie calm down" Max laughed

"Sorry…but look Arch, its me and you like seven years ago!" Lexie shrieked

"Let me see" Archie dropped down on the floor next to Lexie. "Look how young we look" he laughed.

"Yeh before we married and had the stress of kids" Lexie added.

"You haven't aged one bit" Max commented looking over Lexie's shoulder.

"Amber do you want to have a look?" Archie asked glancing over to her.

"No I'm ok, I'll look at them another time. I'm just going to check the kids" Amber informed as she got up and went out the room.

"Ok" Archie answered, too involved in looking at the photos to notice.

I look around and nothings changed but all this time has separated us. Press rewind and stop the tape, lets play it from the start and pause before we part. Replay it from the past confusing what we had, cant try it out again

"Lex look, one of you and Katrina, after she got her place on the board" Archie commented thrusting the picture into Lexie's hand.

"So that's Katrina" Max said raising his voice a bit on the word 'that's'

Both Archie and Lexie glanced up at him, "Sorry, thought to myself" Max snickered.

Archie laughed. "What?" Lexie asked.

"Just remembering the train ride home the night before" He added

"Shh…it wasn't my fault, it was the drink" Lexie implied

Archie suddenly shut up and looked towards Max. "Don't worry I know all about it" Max mentioned seeing Archie's concerned face. They all laughed again. "Alexandra got a bit drunk that night wouldn't you say?" Archie questioned.

"Yes, ok now can we be quiet?" Lexie asked, picking up another picture. "I can't remember this one being taken" Lexie commented as she showed Archie a picture of Molly and the both of them together.

"Me neither" Archie frowned as he turned over the picture. "My Family" Archie read aloud, in his mother's handwriting. Suddenly they both went silent, a sudden guiltiness ran over them.

I've learned to love, be understanding and believe in life, but you've

Got to make choices, be wrong or right, sometimes you've

Got to sacrifice the things you like

"I…I never thought about how this effected mother" Archie spoke after a while. "We were too busy thinking about our selves to notice, we were hurting her," Lexie added.

"Um…I'm just going to see if I can find Amber" Max commented, getting up sensing their need to be together.

"Lex, what have we done"

"I don't know…but I think this two weeks has something to do with it"

"Me too"

"I'm gaun to talk to Molly tomorrow, come on lets put these photos away"

"Good idea"

I'd do anything just to hold you in my arms to try and make you

Laugh, cos somehow I cant put you in the past, I'd do anything,

Just to fall asleep with you, cos I know I wont forget you

Archie and Lexie sat in stillness on the sofa. "You want another drink?" Archie asked. "Mmm please" Lexie replied.

"Here"

"Thanks"

"Lex, are you happy?"

"Happy? … Yeh suppose I am, I mean I've got a fantastic husband and a gorgeous wee girl, miss the scrambled eggs though"

Archie gave a soft laugh.

"Why aren't you?" Lexie asked

I wish I could have told you, the things I

Kept inside, but now I guess I've left it too late

Archie gazed at Lexie; this is how he had imagined them together, sitting together at night, talking.

"Don't you ever think about if it had been…you know…different" Archie questioned. "Different…" Lexie sounded out the word. "You mean…"

"Yes, if you hadn't left" Archie added.

"Sometimes" Lexie replied getting up and putting her empty glass on the tray.

"Night Arch"

"Sweet dreams Lex"


	4. Part 4

**Past won't go away: Story of my life – Day 4******

********

** See I was just thinking,**

**Now my life is on the road**

The straight and the narrow 

**On the route I've been shown **

"Molly..." Lexie called wearily as she entered the studio in which Molly sat in her armchair gazing out of the window to the loch.

"Lexie" Molly replied, her face lighting up, as Lexie had called. Lexie smiled back at Molly and then looked quickly around the room, until her eyes set on a stool opposite Molly. She quickly travelled across the room and sat herself down.

They both sat in silence, waiting for the other one to talk, finally Lexie spoke, "Molly...I have a few questions"

"I thought you might" Molly answered

Lexie took a deep breath, "Um...Where to start...ok we've known each other for a long time right?"

"Yes, since you turned up on my doorstep, just a young girl"

"Aye, and I still cannot thank you enough from that day, you changed my whole life from the minute you took me in"

"Believe it or not, you too changed my life" Molly replied, which totally threw Lexie off course from what she was about to say next. Instead her expression changed to confusion, Lexie had never thought about it that way, ok well she had realised that it had changed Mollys life a bit by her being there, because she had then became another member within the household, and they were to see her every day. But She hadn't read beneath the lines, the meaning of it.

Lexie knew, and Molly knew that they had been more like mother and daughter, than boss and housekeeper. That partially was the reason why Lexie kept coming back to Glenbogle, her home and even her daughter Ami called Molly 'Nan' because that was how it worked. So to think again how Lexie had changed Molly's life, it was a lot in fact.

"You May of thought of it as just a job, but to me it was like having another daughter" Molly explained.

"Oh Molly, you know I never thought of it as just a job, it was much more than that, you were my family"

"Even so, when you arrived, I realised how much I missed not having my children around me. Lizzie and Archie both left for London and left me here in Glenbogle. Then you and Duncan arrived, and I couldn't have been more happier."

Lexie laughed "Me and Dunc?"

"Yes, in some ways, you acted just like Lizzie and Archie...always teasing each other, well mostly you teasing poor wee Duncan but it's all the same"

"Yeh, I guess I did that a lot," Lexie admitted

"Then Archie came home" Molly stated

"And everything changed?" Lexie questioned

"No, not so much. In fact I realised something was happening"

"What?" Lexie asked, now very much involved in the story

"Some one was slowly falling in love" Molly giggled

Lexie could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks, she already knew they were bright red and she couldn't help it, so instead she went quiet.

"Lexie, I stood and watched both my son and yourself grow up, I saw you get challenged by situations you had never come across before, feelings that were new to you, and sometimes hurt you. Yet all the time, I believed, dreamed that maybe one day it would be ok for you both, that the hurting would stop and you would realise the wonderful thing before you. I was happy, and the ones I loved most where all around me, we were like one big family."

"That I agree on, I know I felt that I finally had the family I had never had before, but Molly I still don't understand why you never mentioned Archie to me" Lexie explained, going back to her questions.

"You broke his heart when you left, I watched as he hid his feelings away further and further, until no longer would he show expression, he was unhappy, depressed. It seemed to affect the whole household. Irene, the new cook and housekeeper would be around, yet the regular de-tours to the kitchen stopped, there was no longer a reason to go there. Duncan took it bad too, maybe this was a time when he grew up a bit, no more messing around and jokes, with no one to tease him or talk to him, he just got on with it. Then Paul arrived..." Molly paused, tears were in her eyes, and her voice went quivery. Lexie felt a silent tear roll down her face as she experienced Molly's sadness with her.

"And Archie went away, and I watched as my family got torn apart, and taken away from me. Then when you returned for a visit, I saw your expression when you realised Archie had left, and that's when I realised how much this had both hurt you, and I no longer wanted you to suffer, or Archie. So from then on, I didn't mention him to you, and I didn't mention you to Archie. I went out of my way to make sure you both had nothing to do with each other"

"Oh Molly" Lexie exploded in tears as she lent forward and draped her arms around Molly and the two woman sat and cried together.

"I really had no idea, I didn't think about anyone but myself, I was so selfish, all I cared about was how it had effected me, I didn't even think to give it a thought how you were feeling, I'm so sorry" Lexie confessed

When they both had calmed down a bit, Lexie suddenly remembered her last question. "Then why now?" Lexie questioned

"Lex?" Archie interrupted, coming in the doorway. "Hey Lex what's the matter?" Archie came rushing over and stood infront of Lexie, he put his hand on her shoulder as he spoke to her. His soft touch comforted Lexie, and she reached out and put her arms around him as she hugged him tight. She looked over his shoulder to Molly, she was smiling but it was a smile with a meaning.


	5. Part 5

**Past wont go away: Story of my life**

********

**You know it's not easy,**

**To try and change your ways**

"Morning Lex" Archie spoke as he entered the kitchen the next morning.

"Hey Arch, you want something to eat?" Lexie replied

Archie laughed "Yeh please"

"Well I've just made Max some porridge, so you can have some too if that's ok?" Lexie asked

"Sounds lovely thanks" Archie replied sitting down next to Max at the table.

"You really have a lovely home here Archie" Max commented

"Thank you, it has its many wonders" Archie replied smiling back as Lexie put a bowl of porridge in front of him.

"Hey Lex you ready?" Jess asked coming into the kitchen

"Yep ready as ever" Lexie answered taking off her apron and putting down the dishcloth.

"Ready for what?" Archie asked confused

"Practising for Karaoke night down at the pub" Max answered

Archie laughed "You and Jess?"

Lexie hit him with the dishcloth "Yes me and Jess"

"Well this I will have to come and see" Archie replied ducking away.

"Right Max sweetie, Ami is out with Molly, she'll need a bottle and put down for a nap about 12ish ok and I'll see you tonight" Lexie explained to Max as she kissed him quickly on the cheek before leaving with Jess.

"There actually really good" Max commented once Lexie and Jess had left

"Are they, I don't think I've ever heard either of them sing" Archie answered

"Lexie's voice is wonderful, she sings to Ami all the time, its beautiful" Max replied

"Well then I look forward to tonight, I'll catch you later then" Archie commented finishing his last spoonful and putting his dish in the sink.

"What's it going to be tonight then?" Max asked Lexie as she got back to the house to get ready for the night out.

"Ah you'll have to wait and find out" Lexie replied as she went through her wardrobe for a dress.

"Oh come on you never tell me" Max whined

"Because you always ask," Lexie replied laughing, as she picked out a black, backless dress.

"Hmmm…what do you think?" Lexie asked holding it up against her for Max to see.

"I think you will look beautiful in it" Max replied

Lexie hesitated "I don't know, I wonder what Amber is wearing"

"Why would you care what Amber was wearing?" Max asked standing in front of Lexie so she could adjust his tie.

"I don't know, it's just she's going to look better what ever she's wearing" Lexie answered

"Lex, since when have you cared about other people looking better than you?" Max questioned

"I dunno" Lexie mumbled

"Now put on the dress and lets get going hey so I can find out what this surprise song is you and Jess are singing tonight" Max replied giving Lexie a kiss on the nose as she broke into a smile.

Archie stood and watched as Amber got changed. She looked really thin and sick.

"What?" Amber questioned as she saw Archie staring from the bed.

"You look like you've lost weight" Archie commented

"Good" Amber replied as she walked over to Archie for him to do the back of her dress up.

"So this Lexie…she's singing tonight right?" Amber asked as Archie did up the zip.

"Yeh, yeh Lexie and Jess are going to sing, apparently they always do and it's a good night out," Archie answered

"Hmm… how come we never do something like this when just us come up here then" Amber questioned

"I don't know, well you and Jess aren't really friends as such and…" Archie hesitated

"Instead we just sit around bored for two weeks" Amber finished sighing and walking over to the dressing table.

Archie got up and left the room to go see how mother and the children were, he was dreading tonight with Amber.

As Archie opened the door to the Ghillies rest, the atmosphere inside was wonderful. Drinks were being served and lots of chatter was going on in the pub. Everyone had smiles on their faces and was all dressed up for the night out. As the lot of them walked in and found some seats near the front of the stage, Golly went up to talk to the man setting up the stage and mic.

"Right what's everyone having to drink?" Lexie asked the table

"I'll get them Lex" Archie offered

"No, no bother I'll get them Arch, but you can come help me carry" Lexie replied as she noted what everyone wanted and grabbed Arch's hand and pulled him to the bar.

"Your happy tonight" Archie commented after Lexie had ordered the drinks.

"Well it's going to be a good night" Lexie answered

"You look… wonderful by the way" Archie commented

Lexie smiled as she took the drinks in her hand "Thanks Arch, you look good too"

"RIGHT AS YOU ALL KNOW TONIGHT IS THE SPECIAL 60S AND 70S KAROKE NIGHT," the barman announced to the audience as a whirl of cheers came from around the room.

"FIRST UP IS THE GREAT DOUBLE ACT FROM THE VERY OWN LEXIE AND JESS!" the bar man announced to the audience as Lexie and Jess made their way out of their seats and on to the stage.

"WELL WE THOUGHT WE WOULD DO SOMETHING A BIT WELL KNOWN, SO WE DECIDED TO DO A ABBA SONG" Lexie told the audience

"AND THE ABBA SONG WE DECIDED TO DO WAS TAKE A CHANCE ON ME" Jess finished as her and Lexie took their mic's and the bar man switched on the music.

**"If you change your mind, I'm the first in line, Honey I'm still free, take a chance on me" **Lexie started, wowing the audience with her singing voice as Jess joined in with her

**"If you need me, let me know, gonna be around, if you've got no place to go, if your feeling down. If you've all alone when the pretty birds have flown Honey I'm still free, take a chance on me, Gonna do my very best and it aint no lie, If you put me to the test, if you let me try" **

Archie sat there amazed, he had never heard either of them sing before but this wasn't just some silly game that they were doing for a laugh. Ok so they were doing it for a laugh but they could actually sing, unlike the usual people you get up on the karaoke.

Amber looked across at Archie and saw the way he stared at Lexie. Amber shot Lexie an evil stare but it only made Lexie put more into her singing and Archie sat up more and listened.

**"Take a chance on me" **Lexie sang as Jess sung the backing voice

**"That's all I ask of you honey" **

**"Take a chance on me" **Lexie repeated giving the audience a smile as a few of the men at the back cheered.

**"We can go dancing, we can go walking, as long as we're together. Listen to some music, maybe just talking, get to know you better" **Lexie sang as she blew a kiss to Max, who sat next to Archie smiling proud at his wife.

"This is Jess's bit" Duncan whispered from behind Arch.

**"Cos you know I've got so much that I wanna do, When I dream I'm alone with you its magic. You want me to leave you there, afraid of a love affair. But I think you know, that I cant let go" **Jess sang out with all her heart as Duncan jumped up and smiled away at her.

"That's ma girl," Golly commented from next to Duncan.

Everybody listened as Lexie and Jess sang the first two choruses' again.

"So now what do you think?" Max whispered to Archie.

"Absolutely brilliant, I can't believe I never knew Lexie could sing this well before" Archie answered not taking his eyes off the stage.

"She's got many hidden talents" Max replied giving a wink as an indication to Archie before turning back to listen.

'_Hmm I bet'_ Archie thought as he watched in amazement, his heart seemed to be telling him something but all he could was his wife breathing out deeply in frustration beside him.

**"Oh you can take your time baby, I'm in no hurry, know I'm gonna get you. You don't wanna hurt me, baby don't worry, I aint gonna let you" **Lexie sang giving the audience a grin as Jess carried on belting out her voice **"Let me tell you know, my love is strong enough to last when things are round. Its magic. You say that I waste my time, but I cant get you off my mind, no I cant let go… cos I love you so" **

They then repeated the first chorus again, with the whole audience joining in and clapping to the beat as Lexie and Jess shone with happiness up on the stage.

**"Ba Ba Bab, Ba ba Bab ba bab" Came the vocals from the CD **

As Lexie and Jess finished off the song** "Take a chance on me, Gonna put me to the test, take a chance on me, honey I'm still free, take a chance on me" **

As the song faded out, wails of cheers and people stood up clapping away like mad. Duncan stood up on his chair shouting "Woo... Go Jess Go Lex!"

"Well done babe you did great!" Max shouted over the clapping to Lexie.

As Lexie and Jess got down from the stage and came across to the table, Max, Golly, Duncan, Paul and Molly all got up to congratulate them and give each a kiss on the cheek. Archie got up and said well done to Jess before kissing her on the cheek and then Lexie as well.

"Well Alexandra you just surprise me every time" Archie whispered in her ear. Lexie laughed before kissing Arch back on the cheek.

"Right I'll get us some more drinks in!" Archie shouted as he went towards the bar.

"How come the girls are so good at pool?" Archie asked Paul as the two brothers sat having a pint at the table while watching Lexie and Jess Vs Duncan and Max at the pool table.

"Us guys let them win so they think they are good" Paul replied laughing.

"Ah I see" Archie answered laughing with him.

Lexie ran over to them "Ha us girls won!" she cheered

"Losers" Archie whispered jokily to Paul so Lexie could hear

"Oh defiantly" Paul whispered back as Lexie playfully hit Archie on the arm.

"Right you can go buy me a drink for that Mr. Macdonald" Lexie ordered as Archie sighed and then smiled at Lexie as they walked towards the bar.

"What's it to be then Lex?" Archie asked

"Same as before please" Lexie replied holding up her glass.

"One red wine please and another pint for me thanks" Archie asked the barman.

"Arch could you get me another vodka please" Amber asked from behind Archie.

Archie turned his back to Lexie and spoke quietly to his wife.

"Amber I don't think that's a good idea do you?" Archie questioned his wife

"Why not?" Amber replied

"You know why not ok, I'll get you a coke" Archie answered turning back round and ordering a coke as Amber looked at Lexie standing by the bar puzzled by the overheard conversation and then walked back to the table.

Archie turned and gave Lexie a smile as if to say nothing was wrong. And Lexie smiled back to show she hadn't taken notice of his conversation with his wife, even though she had.


	6. Part 6

**Past won't go away: Story of my life – Day 6**

So now I try to find,

A place to leave it all,

Memories in my mind,

We try our lives away,

Then stumble to the grave,

We cry, and still they say,

The Past won't go away

"Pass that here please Ewan" Lexie called across the kitchen as she managed to stir the gravy with one hand and keep an eye on the potatoes.

"I'm steaming vegetables here" Ewan replied already getting annoyed with Lexie's bossiness in his kitchen.

They were preparing a roast dinner for dinner tonight, everyone was due round as it would be the last dinner together before Max left to go back to Glasgow.

Lexie sighed "Fine I'll do it myself" she muttered. Archie appeared in the doorway and smiled at Lexie, "Can I help?"

Ewan crept round to Archie as he went to get the seasoning "Run Archie, Run now while you can" He whispered laughing

"Er Ewan, back to work please, we're on a time slot here!" Lexie answered

Archie gave Ewan a glance as if to say 'you heard the woman' as Ewan turned back to his vegetables.

"Right Arch you can cut the meat please" Lexie replied pointing Archie in the direction of the meat on the kitchen table.

"I thought I was gonna do that?" Ewan piped up again.

"No I said you might have to do it if Arch wasn't free, any way it's the lairds duty" Lexie answered

"Er Lex I'm not the laird anymore remember" Archie replied

Lexie fell silent "Oh yeh, your not, I forget, I guess like this…it's a bit like old times isn't it?"

Archie stared across into Lexie's periwinkle eyes as she stared back, then broke a smile at him before looking down again and continuing to prepare the potatoes onto a plate. It was just like the day of the midsummer's ball, then that sudden anger came across him again as he got angry with himself for messing that night up so much as he hacked away at the meat.

"Oh hello dear, you've come to baby-sit the children I suppose?" Molly answered the door to a young girl from the village who Lexie had asked round tonight to watch the children while the adults had their meal.

"Aye Miss, that's me, my names Charlotte" the blonde haired girl entered the house smiling back at Molly.

"Charlotte McManus?" Molly questioned

"Aye, do you know me?" Charlotte replied

"Why dear, I haven't seen you since you were a wee girl" Molly smiled "Come this way I'll show you to the children"

"Right Ewan, can I leave you do dish up while I go get dressed?" Lexie asked as she untied her apron.

"Aye sure" Ewan replied relieved she had finally calmed down.

They stood at the top of the stairs as Paul took Molly's arm to walk down to dinner as Golly stood at the bottom of the stairs playing the bagpipes.

Amber was making a fuss at the top about the noise but Archie ignored her.

"Max, do you mind if I take Lexie's arm?" Archie asked politely

"Go ahead Arch, I'll take Amber's" Max replied

Archie nodded in reply and went and linked arms with Lexie.

"Well Archie Macdonald, this is new, I don't think I've ever been walked down to dinner by you before" Lexie whispered as they walked

"Well I never got the chance, you were always in the kitchen" Archie winked back, as Lexie smiled and they continued into the dining room.

As Paul sat in the big chair at the end of the table with the others all around him. Ewan appeared with a trolley of food.

"Now everyone, for tonight's dinner, Lexie and Ewan have prepared a roast dinner for us all" Paul announced as Ewan started to set out the food on the table.

"Just pick what you want everyone" Lexie called out as everyone started picking up spoons and dishing their food up.

"You will eat something" Archie whispered harshly in Amber's ear. Amber turned to face Archie then called across to Duncan who was pouring out wine. "I'll have some please Duncan"

"Your doing this on purpose" Archie whispered back, then as he turned to face the table again he noticed Lexie staring at him, as his glance caught hers she quickly picked up the spoon infront of her and turned to Max talking.

Archie sighed and picked at his food, he didn't feel up to eating at the moment.

After everyone had cleared for dinner and disappeared into various rooms, Lexie looked out the back door and saw Archie sitting in the dark on the steps at the bottom of the garden. She wrapped her poncho round her and walked outside, the wind caught her hair as she walked slowly up behind Arch.

"Hey wee man" Lexie called out as she got nearer Arch. Arch turned to look at her, and gave her a small smile. "Hey Lex"

Lexie sat herself down next to him and stared out onto the loch with him. Then she turned to face his glance at the side. "Whatcha thinking about?" Lexie asked, as Archie then glanced to the floor and shrugged his shoulders.

Lexie understood and then faced the other way, looking out across to the gardens.

The two old friends sat in silence for quite a while, until Lexie shivered and took a deep breath. Archie turned to her. "Lex"

"Yeah?" Lexie replied turning back to Archie.

"You must be cold" Archie answered wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer.

"And you must be hungry, Arch you hardly ate a thing" Lexie replied

"Well it wasn't your cooking, I'll tell you that much" Archie answered

"Is there much to tell then?" Lexie questioned

"No its nothing" Archie answered

"I can't help ya Arch if you don't tell me"

"I don't expect you to help Lex, I don't think you can"

The two went silent again. Until Lexie giggled.

"What?" Archie asked

"Just imagining if us two had got together, we'd be laird and laird's wife" Lexie laughed again

"And would that be so bad?" Archie questioned

"No…No I guess not, different, but not bad" Lexie replied smiling at the thought.

"Next lifetime hey Lex" Archie replied as he placed his head against the top of hers.

"Yeah…next lifetime" Lexie whispered as she snuggled her head against Archie's chest, as they watched the moonlight glide across the loch.


	7. Part 7

**Past won't go away: Story of my life Day 7******

Archie smiled as he stood in the doorway of Lexie's room. Ami was asleep on Lexie's bed to the right of him, with her bottle in one little hand and her other hand tucked behind one little bunch in her hair. She had on her little pink princess dress, which made Archie turn to the picture Lexie had drawn at the age of nine, which now hung on the wall beside her bed. Archie suspected Ami might grow up to be a bit like the young Lexie in her unique ways.

He tapped lightly on the door and Lexie looked up from the wardrobe at the far end of the room. "Come away in" she whispered. Archie smiled and entered the room, and sat where he usually did in the chair at the far end of the room next to the wardrobe. "Nothings changed round here" Archie commented looking at the same four colour walls and the fairy lights lit up, with the little bits and bobs that just made it 'Lexie's room'.

Whatever makes you happy

"Oh I think some things have changed" Lexie answered, reviling a bunch of miniature size clothes hanging up in the wardrobe, then pointing to the cuddly toys that lay on the floor, randomly scattered about and then to Ami on the bed. "Ah, ok well tiny things, so do you two always stay in this room when Max goes back to work?" Archie asked.

"Yeah Molly's always kept this room for me, I don't believe you Archie Macdonald that you haven't been in this room in five years" Lexie replied.

"Ok, ok so I've been in here, but I guess I just come in to sit, I didn't really pay attention to your pictures" Archie explained. As he glanced across at the two pictures beside her bed of Lexie and Max on they're wedding day and then Lexie and Max holding Ami. "So I didn't really think…"

Stop me thinking and wondering… Why?

"What…you do come in here?" Lexie looked shocked as she giggled softy then shutting the wardrobe doors went over and laid down on the bed next to Ami on her side, so she could talk to Archie.

"Yeah sometimes, I hope you don't mind, it just gets so hectic sometimes with Amber, and well she doesn't come in here, so its like an escape" Archie answered.

After a moments silence Lexie whispered "What do you think about?"

Archie sat back in the chair as the image clear infront of him as it always did.

The day, you, slipped away, was the day, I found it, wont be the same

_"Lexie please wait" Archie yelled as he stood infront of her bedroom door. _

_"Archie, I've waited long enough! I stood by and watched you with every woman but me! I even helped you! Yet you knew how I felt, I don't know, mebbe you just thought I would always be here waiting for you. Archie you're my best friend, but if you cant see what's under your nose, then mebbe this was never going to be, and I was kidding myself thinking I ever had a chance with you. And now I've found someone who loves me for who I am, and tells me he loves me, reassures me, and even though he knew I was still caught up in my feelings with you, he helped me. Well I'm sorry Archie, but I love him, and I don't wanna be messed about anymore, I've been hurt enough, you're going to have to fight this one by yourself. I hope you get your happy ending. Goodbye Archie" Lexie finished, taking deep sighs. She blinked her eyes to get rid of the blur from tears filling up. Her voice had been shaky as she had finished them last few words. _

So now we'll go our separate ways, never again we two

_Archie stood staring at the tears as they spilled from Lexie's eyes, ran down her cheek and to her lips. He was still taking it all in, he couldn't think of a response even if he could of said anything. _

_She reached forward and kissed him on the cheek, then with one last longing look at Archie, she turned and left. He stood watching her go, watching her take them last steps out of the bedroom she had stayed in for all these years, out of the house that had become her home, the people she had called her family. _

_He had let her go without saying how much he truly loved her. How that he was going to propose to her that night of the mid summer's ball, but he had chickened out and ended up just thanking her for saving the day as usual. He couldn't find the right words to say it. Then his uncle Jolyan had turned up and Archie ended up clearing up after his mess and didn't have the time to work out what he was going to say to Lexie. How he was going to put it. _

_Then Lexie had gone to visit her mother, and that's when it had happened, just when Archie was missing her terribly, and had decided that when she returned he was going to tell her his true feelings, his father had gotten himself blown up. The family went into morning for him, and when Lexie returned with stories of a man she had met called Max, whom she had known from high school, Molly would sit and listen. But after a while Lexie had stopped telling the stories, she had been there for Molly and Archie all the time, Archie had assumed it was nothing, that it was just a holiday romance. Until today, Archie had gone to kiss Lexie, but she had backed away, she had looked confused, then angry. Then everything else had just become a blur, she announced she was leaving, moving to Glasgow to live with his Max. _

_Archie's world had been swallowed up, his dreams been destroyed._

You never miss a good thing till it leaves

Archie looked up, it had been a long time since he had spoken, and as he looked across, Lexie had fallen asleep. He smiled and reached across for the blanket and covered them both up and kissed Lexie gently on the forehead, she breathed deeply but didn't wake. Maybe this could be of been his happy ending.

"ARCHIE!" Amber's voice came from the hall. Archie sighed and walked quietly out the door and shut it behind him. "Coming" he replied.


	8. Part 8

**Past won't go away: Story of my life – Day 8**

Lexie came down the grand old stairs, giving Hector a smile as she did. The house seemed quiet, Lexie knew Molly had taken Ami and Sapphire out on her bike this morning, and Paul was out on the estate with Golly. But she wondered where Archie was.

Just then she heard crying, a child's cry coming from somewhere in the house. "Hello?" Lexie called out into the empty house. The crying continued, as Lexie picked up her pace, she then heard a crash and shatter of glass and the crying increased, Lexie then recognised it as a boys cry.

"Owen?" Lexie called out again, heading for the library, "Oh no" Lexie shouted out as she saw Amber lying on the floor, obviously passed out.

"ARCHIE!" Lexie shouted at the top of her voice until she heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

Lexie tried to wake Amber, but Amber wouldn't wake. Then Lexie noticed the crying Owen standing scared by the smashed vase.

"Aw come here wee man" Lexie spoke softly to Owen, as she led him round the broken glass.

"Hey, hey don't cry, it's gonna be ok" Lexie told Owen as she wiped his eyes.

Secretly I let it slip, emotional I fall through it, all I know is I'm losing my control

Archie appeared at the door. "Lex is everything ok…Oh no not again" Archie replied as he spotted Amber. He came across and picked her up in his arms and headed out the door.

Lexie took hold of Owen and gave him a cuddle before picking him up and following Archie.

"Archie, what is it? Is she ok?" Lexie asked fanatic behind him as they made their way to the kitchen.

"She properly hasn't had anything to eat again" Archie replied angrily. "We need to give her something when she wakes up"

Lexie nodded in reply as they entered the kitchen and Archie sat Amber down on the table and supported her upright.

Lexie put a sobbing Owen down on the table next to her. "I know…Honey, its got plenty of sugar in" Lexie suggested.

"Good thinking" Archie replied as Amber started to come around. Lexie got a spoon full of honey and put it in Amber's mouth as she came around.

Whose to say the problems should just go away?

"What the hell are you doing?" Amber shouted at Lexie hitting the spoon away.

"Trying to help ya!" Lexie answered frustrated

"I don't need your help!" Amber shouted back.

"Fine!" Lexie replied slamming down the honey pot and storming out the room.

I am stuck inside a broken life that I cant wish away

"Lexie…Lexie wait!" Archie called out but Lexie didn't turn around. "GREAT! Well, well done Amber you did it again!" Archie shouted walking out the room.

"What does she know anyway" Amber muttered as Archie stormed back and picked up Owen. "A damn lot more than you do!" Archie answered in anger.

Lexie cleared the broken glass onto the newspaper as she carefully wrapped it up.

You gave a smile as you cover up your heart

Archie appeared at the doorway with Owen at his feet. They walked over to Lexie. "Owen has something to say Lexie" Archie informed as Owen walked up to a kneeling Lexie so they were equal height.

"I'm sorry for knocking the vase over Lexie" Owen mumbled looking down at his feet.

"That's ok wee man, accidents happen, now do you wanna come play a game with me?" Lexie replied giving Owen a hug. Lexie looked up as Archie smiled.

"Does daddy wanna play too?" Lexie questioned as Owen turned round to Archie.

"Do you dad?" Owen asked.

With all this I feel now, everything inside my heart

Archie looked at Lexie, she truly was the best thing ever. "Yeah, go on then" Archie replied coming across and hugging them both, while he whispered a "Thanks" in Lexie's ear.


	9. Part 9

**Past wont go away: Story of my life – Day 9**

What do you do, when you know something's bad for you,

But you still cant let go

Amber watched out the window as Lexie and Archie walked together along the loch. It was still morning but Amber held a wineglass in her hand and downed the last of it before pouring herself another as she continued to watch.

Owen and Sapphire played together on the floor with Owen's toys as the hours went past. Now late afternoon, Amber had worked her way through nearly three bottles of wine and was now asleep on the sofa.

"Mummy sleep" Sapphire pointed out to her brother. The two small children wondered out of the room and Owen undone the back door as they explored outside.

As they got down by the loch, Owen spotted a boat floating at the side. "Pirates!" Owen shouted excited as he ran over to the boat and climbed up on to a nearby rock and fell into the boat. He held his hand out to try and pull his sister up but she fell and went smack down on the pebbles.

The impact sent the boat out onto the water as it started to float away. Sapphire cried as she held her cut hands up and sat on the shore, the tide came in and got her socking wet, which only increased her cry.

Too many, too many problems

Meanwhile, Archie walked inside the house coming back from the village and was surprised to hear no sound. He walked into the library and spotted Amber asleep on the chair. Then he picked up the bottles and his attention turned to his absent children.

"Owen? Sapphire?" Archie called out into the hallway.

Paul and Lexie holding Ami appeared at the top of the stairs. "Whats the matter Arch?" Lexie asked

"Owen and Sapphire have gone missing" Archie replied panicked.

"Well there not up here, we'll help you look" Paul answered as they came down the stairs.

Who knows what could happen

Lexie spotted the open back door. "Have you checked outside?"

"The loch!" Archie and Paul said together as the three raced outside.

"Over there Arch, the boat!" Lexie shouted out as they began to run.

"DADDY!" Owen screamed standing up in the floating boat.

"Owen sit down, We're coming!" Archie shouted back, as Lexie picked up Sapphire and Archie and Paul raced into the water.

"My son is not gonna die like my brother did!" Archie shouted out as himself and Paul started swimming out. They caught up with the boat and pulled it back to the shore.

Archie grabbed his children and hugged them tight, as tears formed in his eyes. "It's ok, daddy's got you" Archie whispered to them.

Paul took Ami from Lexie as she went over to Archie. "They're safe now Arch" Lexie whispered comforting him.

"I know but it's her fault! They could have died" Archie replied.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I might need you to hold me tonight, I might need you to say its alright

Lexie knocked on the door of Archies bedroom. She assumed Archie and Amber wouldn't be sleeping together after today's events.

Archie turned to look at Lexie as she opened the door. "Thought you could do with a cuddle" Lexie said as Archie nodded in reply and pulled the covers back for her to get in.

Lexie joined Archie in the bed and they cuddled together. "Now are you gonna tell me whats going on?" Lexie asked

Archie sighed. "Things have never been that smooth for Amber and I" he began as Lexie listened carefully.

If you need to fall apart, I can mend a broken heart, if you need to crash and burn your not alone

"After we married, Amber fell ill with a eating disorder, I took two months off work and stayed home to look after Owen and Amber. Then she went to hospital for a bit, and that's when we found out she was going to have Sapphire, it seemed to go away while she was pregnant though" Archie explained.

"Is that what happened the other day? Has it come back?" Lexie asked

"Yeah it has, but I don't know what to do, she won't let any one help" Archie replied upset

"What about today then? What happened?" Lexie questioned

"She drank, and drank. I first noticed it after she had Sapphire. Post natal depression the doctor said, but this was more than that, this was a drinking problem""

Lexie didn't know what to say she knew things were bad but she didn't know they were this bad.

"It's not the first time shes put the kids in danger" Archie stated

Lexie decided the best thing to do was to offer her comfort. She wrapped her arms around Archie, and for the first time she saw him break down.

"Arch cry if you want, its better to let it all out then keep it bottled up" Lexie whispered softly to him.

"I loved her once Lex, but I can't deal with it anymore, she's got out of control, I'd leave her but I don't want to lose my kids" Archie spoke, his voice weary. "I just look at you and Max with Ami, and I'm jealous of how you have such a happy family life"

What would you do if you knew

"Things aren't always as they seem Arch" Lexie whispered

"What?" Archie replied, but Lexie appeared to be asleep, so he quietly settled down next to her.


	10. Part 10

**The Past wont go away: Story of my life – Day 10**

If we can't find a way out of these problems,

Then maybe we don't need them

Amber woke early as usual. She had slept in Archie's sister Lizzie's old room last night. As she swung out of bed her feet hit a box; curious she opened up the flaps of cardboard. Inside seemed to be a collection of Lizzie's old stuff, school reports, letters from friends and then tucked down the side was a load of pictures.

Amber recognised the little boy in the picture to be Archie at once; Sapphire resembled him a lot. Amber turned over the back of the picture and read 'At the beach, Jamie, Lizzie and Archie 1972' Amber then took the next picture underneath. It was a more recent picture, well in the fact it had been taken in the last 10 years.

Amber recognised the young girl holding up a pint in her hand to be Lexie, and Amber assumed that it must be Archie's sister next to her. She turned it over. 'Lexie's 18th birthday down the Ghillies Rest 1995' It made Amber realise that Lexie wasn't going to go away, she had been part of this family for a long time and that wasn't going to change. Amber didn't even know Lizzie, she hadn't seen her, Lizzie hadn't come to the wedding, and Amber hadn't even seen her niece Martha. Amber felt, as if Lexie was more part of this family then she was herself.

Amber sighed and put Lizzie's pictures back into the box. Amber walked along the corrider and past Archie's bedroom. She peered in and was surprised to see Lexie asleep on the bed, but Archie was no where to be found, Amber took in deep breaths. She wasn't sure what this was, she didn't know why Lexie was in her husband's bed but her husband wasn't with her. That was the main thing.

She continued on to her children's bedroom at the far end of the corrider and walked into the room. Sapphire and Owen were playing happily on the floor.

"Sapphire, its time to get dressed now" Amber said taking Sapphires hand and taking her away from the toy.

"No. Play!" Sapphire replied sitting back down and pointing to the toy car Owen was happily playing with.

"Sapphire please I haven't got time to argue" Amber pleaded with her

"Nooo" Sapphire wined

"Sapphire now!" Amber yelled at the child yanking her up by her arm. Sapphire started crying and whimpering.

Archie hearing the commotion started walking towards the room, to be met by Lexie coming out of his bedroom. "Morning Lex" Archie said as she joined him walking towards the room.

"Right I've had enough!" Amber shouted hitting Sapphire round the legs hard.

Archie and Lexie stood shocked at the door. Sapphire screamed out in pain, and then her crying eyes made Archie's hearts feel pain, anger at his wife. This was the last straw.

"Daddy!" Sapphire wailed as Amber turned round to see Archie and Lexie standing there.

Archie stepped forward picking up Sapphire and standing away from Amber. Sapphire nested herself in the safety of Archie as he kissed her forehead.

"She wasn't doing as she was told Archie!" Amber tried to defend herself.

"You hit her," Archie said sternly

"She deserved it" Amber shouted back

"She is two years old Amber!" Archie argued. "You're an unfit mother!" Archie finally shouted out.

I used to think that you were the one, now I'm sick of thinking anything at all

Amber looked shocked at Archie; she didn't quite believe what he had just said. "What did you say?" She asked again

Archie paused then repeated "You're an unfit mother"

Tears started to well up in Amber's eyes as the anger inside her boiled up.

"The eating habits, the drinking everything I've had enough of it Amber!" Archie yelled getting upset himself.

Lexie felt uneasy still standing by the doorway, but she felt she had to be there, she knew this wasn't going to end well, it wasn't just a little tiff between them. It sounded like the end of their relationship, part of her wanted it to be, part of her felt she had to stand their and be their for Archie as a friend only.

"Oh and you think you can do a better job?" Amber shouted back

Archie didn't say anything. He remained silent, hugging his daughter in his arms.

"I suppose you'd get LEXIE to help you?" Amber yelled turning to face Lexie then back to Archie. Lexie looked worried, she didn't like how she was getting pulled into this.

"What do you mean by that?" Archie questioned

Somehow I can't put you in the past

"I think you know what I mean Archie! It's obvious! The past just wont go away will it?" Amber replied

"Amber, we are just good friends" Archie lied, he knew in his heart, him and Lexie were never just 'good friends' it was something more than that, that maybe neither of them wanted to admit.

"Archie I may have problems, but stupid is not one of them! A man and a woman can not just be good friends without at least the thought of something more crossing their minds" Amber explained

Lexie looked down at her feet, she wasn't sure to leave or not. For once in her life she was quite scared about where this situation was going. This wasn't just Archie's girlfriend this time. It was his wife, his life, and his children.

"Amber I have not been unfaithful!" Archie shouted back

"Not yet!" Amber replied

"Amber, Lexie has offered me comfort, as a friend. I've had to deal with a lot, all your problems! I just don't know if I can carry it on!" Archie argued

It can't come quickly enough, and now you've spent your life waiting for this moment

"Well then, if that's how you feel, you have the kids and I'll get out your life forever!" Amber shouted walking towards the door.

"Amber you can not just walk out!" Archie shouted

"Watch me!" Amber shouted back, stopping infront of Lexie "Happy now Princess?"

"Amber you cant just leave your family like this" Lexie spoke up

"Well Archie made it pretty clear I'm an unfit mother, I cant look after my children, so he can have them, see how he gets on!" Amber answered "I'm sorry we can't all have a perfect family like you, with a husband that loves you and a child that adores you!"

"I never said my family was perfect" Lexie replied, her voice weary.

"Oh please, you come here all happy families, faulting yourself infront of Archie!" Amber shouted

"Amber leave it" Archie replied

"What do you know?" Lexie questioned tears in her eyes.

"Is everything alright?" Molly asked coming in-between the two women.

Lexie turned and walked quickly back in the direction of her bedroom. Amber turned in the other direction heading for hers and Archies bedroom.

"Was it something I said?" Molly questioned looking confused at Archie.

"Mother, can you look after the children" Archie replied quickly handing Sapphire to Molly. He stepped out in the hall.

He started walking in the direction of his bedroom, in attempt to save his marriage, but he found himself turning in the other direction, towards Lexie's bedroom.

"Lex?" Archie asked as he entered her bedroom. Lexie had her suitcase open and was fanatically piling her clothes into them. Ami was sitting on the bed watching her mum.

"What are you doing?" Archie asked still standing at the door.

"This was a bad idea Arch" Lexie replied still carrying her clothes from the wardrobe to the suitcase. "I'm just gonnae go home"

"Lex, Lex please don't" Archie answered stopping her and holding her arms to face him. The tears were running down her face, Archie couldn't understand what had upset her so much.

I'll stand by you, wont let nobody hurt you

"Come here" Archie spoke, pulling her close to him as her cries muffled in his T-shirt. He wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back. "I'm sorry about Amber"

"No…it's just what she said about me having a happy family…" Lexie hesitated

Archie pondered the thought, and remembered what she had said last night.

"Things aren't always as they seem?" he questioned

"I had a friend once, who I thought had the perfect life, turned out her husband was beating her up" Lexie stated

"Max he hasn't…" Archie replied shocked

"No no, Max hasn't laid a finger on me or Ami ever… I just meant, that even if someone looks like they live a perfect life, they may not" Lexie replied quietly

"Lex, please don't leave" Archie said again

"To tell you the truth Arch, I don't want to leave" Lexie stated

Archie was confused; he didn't get what Lexie was trying to tell him.

"Lex, I have to go see Amber, but you promise me you wont leave, I'll come back ok" Archie replied

I've had it easy now you see, when I'm down your always there, standing by to comfort me

Lexie nodded back in reply to Archie. Archie smiled at her then leaned forward, Lexie did as well. Then Arch gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I'll be back soon"

-

Tears are in your eyes, come on and come to me now, don't be ashamed to cry, let me see you through, cos I've seen the dark side too

Archie entered Lexie's room a while later. His eyes were red, she could tell he had been crying.

"Oh Arch" Lexie sighed coming forward to hug him this time.

"She's gone" Archie replied

"What about Owen and Sapphire?" Lexie asked

"She doesn't want them, she's left them with me" Archie answered

"Arch, we're all here for you ok, your family" Lexie replied


	11. Part 11

**Past wont go away: Story of my life – Day 11**

The house had remained silent most that day; everyone seemed to be avoiding each other. Archie had been in his children's bedroom all day, Molly had wondered past the doorway; she had hung over the door handle, but not opened it.

Lexie had walked past with Ami and Paul. Lexie had turned to Paul with a worrying glance; Paul had stared back with a blank look. No one knew quite what to do. At last Lexie took a deep breath, she handed Ami carefully to Paul.

"Paul, if I talk to him, will you watch the kids?" Lexie asked

"Sure no problem" Paul replied as Lexie turned round and knocked on the door.

"Arch?" Lex whispered quietly as she peered round the door. Archie was sat cross-legged on the floor with toy cars around him and Owen and Sapphire looked up as Lexie spoke.

"Sorry…was just wondering if I could have a word" Lexie questioned, as she saw a smile appear on Archie's face. Lexie pushed the door open further and Paul smiled from behind her.

"Hello, may we join?" Paul asked putting Ami down as she ran over to join the other two children.

"Oh yeah sure, we've got a car park system going on here" Arch gave a small laugh and stood up to join Lexie outside.

She took hold of his arm and looked up into his eyes and smiled. "It's nice to hear you laugh again" She whispered to him

Archie remained silent and just stared back at Lexie for a while, pondering over what to say next. Lexie was about to say something when Molly appeared at the end of the hall "LEXIE, oh Lexie dear your there" Molly threw her arms up in the air and started waltzing towards them.

"Your mothers on the phone" Molly explained

Lexie looked shocked "What does she want?"

"I don't know dear but she sounded quite stressed about the matter" Molly replied. The shocked expression on Lexie's face turned to worry "Ok, Arch I'll be right back" Lexie answered walking quickly with Molly back downstairs as Archie joined Paul back in the bedroom.

"That was quick" Paul commented as he took his eyes of the car he was holding and Owen cheered as he crashed his car into Paul's.

"No her mother called, she's gone to find out what she wants" Archie sighed as he flopped himself down on the nearby bed.

"Oh ok" Paul replied as he continued playing as Ami came and sat herself on his lap.

Archie observed Paul with Ami and thought about the fact he had seen Lexie with Paul quite often in the last 11 days.

"You and Lex get on quite well" Archie commented

"Yeah I suppose we do" Paul replied not really looking up

"Does she ever talk to you about…you know stuff?" Archie questioned

This time Paul took his attention away from the game and looked at Archie.

"What kind of stuff?" Paul replied

"Family" Archie answered quickly

"Well, I don't know that much, but I know she did turn up quite unexpected about 18 months ago" Paul stated

Archie sat up and looked at Paul "What here?" he asked

"Yeah, her and Ami, Ami must of only been about 6 months old"

"And Max wasn't with her?"

"No, although he did turn up later on"

"What happened?" Archie asked quickly, he was very involved in the story now, he wanted to know reasons, explanations.

"Lex was upset, she muttered something about needing to get away" Paul answered, as Archie's face dropped

"You mean you don't actually know?" Archie asked disappointed

"Arch, like I said, Max turned up, then she didn't say anything else"

Archie sat back and scratched his head "I don't get it"

"Why don't you just ask her?"

"Scared of upsetting her" Archie finished as the door opened again and Lexie appeared in the doorway.

"Hey Lex…is everything alright?" Archie asked, as Lexie nodded silently in reply and walked over to Paul.

"Thanks" She muttered and picked Ami up, then turned and walked out the door.

Archie gave Paul a confused look, as he did the same back.

"Something's going on, and I'm going to find out what" Archie mentioned getting up and walking out the door letting it slam behind him.

Lexie sat in her room; she had just put Ami down for her nap. Her mother's words echoed through her mind, as she went over and over them again.

_"I told you Lexie, I told you it would happen again"_why did her mother always have to be right?

_"What are you going to do now Lexie?"_The questioned played on her mind as she felt her head banging. She travelled down to the kitchen and searched for parcetamol in the cupboard.

"Headache Lex?" Archie questioned coming into the kitchen.

_"He's not gonnae hurt you anymore you hear me?" _

"Hmm…what?" Lexie looked up

_"Your not gonna be me Alexandra, I wont let you put up with it" _

"I said have you got a headache?" Archie repeated himself

_"You need to get out Lexie, while you can, get right away" _

"Yeah, don't worry it will go soon" Lexie answered

_"Don't worry, I soon sorted him out, no one messes my daughter about"_

"Lex are you sure your alright, you look a bit pale" Archie commented sitting down opposite her.

_"Right in the house they were, your house Lexie!" _

"Arch, there's something I haven't told you about Max" Lexie whispered

_"Cheater"_

"He…"

_"Cheater"_

"He…"

_"Cheater, cheater, cheater, cheater" _

"He cheated on me" Lexie finally spat out

_"You can't go back to him this time Lexie"_

"He did what?" Archie yelled across the table, tears filled Lexie's eyes.

_"Lexie, you have Ami to think about now, you don't have to stay with that man"_

"Arch, I had a feeling he was a while back, now my mother has just confirmed it" Lexie replied standing up from the table.

"Wait Lex, what do you mean?"

"Ma mum went round to the house, she caught them at it" Lexie said quietly looking away from Archie.

"Oh Lex…" Archie replied

"GRrr How could I be so stupid!" Lexie yelled at herself in anger.

"Lex, don't blame yourself" Archie answered taking her arm

"I knew though! I knew what was going on!"

"I don't understand"

Lexie sighed and took a deep breath "About 18months ago, I thought Max was having an affair, but I didn't want to confront him, I had a 6month old baby and I was scared of being left alone…I didn't wanna be my mum"

"Lex, you will never be your mum, that was different"

"I was scared Arch, I didn't know what to do!"

"So you came here?"

"I…I thought you might be here"

"Oh Lex, I'm so sorry" Archie wrapped his arms around her, comforting her as her muffled cries faded into his shirt.

Neither of them said anything for ages, until Lexie looked up into Archie's deep brown eyes.

"I love you Arch, I always have" Lexie whispered, Archie cupped her face in his hands and gave her a kiss.

"I love you too Lex, I love you more than my life, I have done all these years"


	12. Part 12

**Past wont go away: Story of my life – Day 12**

********

For what it's worth, it was worth all the while

Archie woke the next morning to an empty space beside him. Lexie and him had slept in the same bed together again last night, both needed the comfort and being together gave them that comfort.

"Lex?" Archie called out sleepily.

There was no reply; Archie pulled himself out of bed and walked down the corridor to Lexie's room. Her bed was un-made and a collection of cuddly toys lay on the bed from where Ami had slept last night.

"Lex?" Archie called again into an empty corridor.

Archie carried on down the corridor to his children's room they were staying in. The two were up and happily playing on the floor. He gave them each a kiss and left them playing while he continued to search for Lexie.

"Paul, have you seen Lexie this morning?" Archie asked as he pasted his brother in the hallway.

"She was really angry, and shouting something about going to Glasgow and giving that pompas, monkey brained husband of hers what he deserves?" Paul replied confused, a look of panic appeared on Archie's face.

"Well where is she now?" Archie answered panicked

"I don't know… she's not taking Ami with her…" Paul replied quickly as Archie took off down the corridor.

"Paul, take the kids to mother for me please!" Archie shouted back as he ran down the stairs two at a time.

As he was climbing down the stairs, Lexie walked past in a rage.

"Lex, Lex wait!" Archie shouted

"I'm going to Glasgow Arch" Lexie replied continuing to walk

"Lex, you don't need too," Archie answered catching up with her and walking along side her.

And there's nothing wrong with me, this is how I'm supposed to be in a land of make believe, that don't believe in me

Lexie had the keys to Paul's landrover and she continued to walk outside. Archie cursed as he hurt his bare feet on the gravel. He clung to himself as he stepped outside in the cold weather in just a t-shirt and his boxers.

"I do Arch, I need to talk with Max" Lexie replied stopping before the car.

"Then let me come with you" Archie pleaded

"Arch, you don't need too, I can do this by myself." Lexie answered, climbing in the car.

Archie climbed in the passenger side and shut the door. "Too bad, I'm coming"

Lexie let out a small giggle as she noticed Archie's appearance.

"Fine…fine…go get changed first" Lexie replied

"Come in with me" Archie answered

"Come in with you?" Lexie repeated

"I don't want you running off without me, now come on, wait inside while I get changed" Archie pleaded getting out of the car. As Lexie joined him, he put his arm around her shoulders and they walked inside.

Forget me nots and second thoughts live in isolation. Heads or tails, fairy tales in my mind

As they came back outside again, Archie could sense Lexie was angry.

"I'll drive" Archie offered, worried about Lexie's driving if she was angry.

Lexie remained silent most of the drive to Glasgow. She didn't tap her fingernails to the beat of the music as she had done on the way to Glenbogle. She didn't get excited at the sights around her. She didn't smile or show much expression. She just gazed out at the green hills and mountains as they slowly changed to tall buildings and the traffic increased.

"So where am I going here?" Archie asked as Lexie stirred and looked at him

"Oh sorry, erm oh take a left here, then follow the road and then its your first right, number 22" Lexie replied

"Ok…you alright?" Archie asked peering quickly across at Lexie then back at the road

"Yeah" Lexie replied bluntly.

They parked outside Lexie's house and she stared at the house for a while. Max's car wasn't there, he must be at work. Lexie took a few deep breaths and continued to look at the house.

"You ready?" Archie asked as Lexie turned to him and nodded silently. "It's going to be ok, I'm here for you" Archie continued

"Thanks Arch, that really means something to me" Lexie replied leaning and giving him a kiss.

As Lexie let them both into the house, Archie took notice of the pictures that hung on her walls. Mainly ones of Ami as a baby and her growing up. Ami looked just like Lexie, a thought crossed Archie's mind to what their child might look like if they had, had one.

Archie picked up a picture frame of Lexie and Molly outside Glenbogle. Pain stabbed Archie as he thought of all them years back, when he could of done something about this, and neither of them would be going through the pain they were now.

Lexie started to clear the house of Max's mess he had left the last couple of days. Archie offered to help but Lexie refused. He sat down on a sofa and thought of his house back in Manchester. He wondered if that's where Amber was, and the thought he would have to go there and sort out things burdened his mind. He didn't want to think about that right now.

The innocent can never last

Archie got up to go to the toilet as he went through to the kitchen and then to the downstairs toilet. He heard someone come in the door and then shouting. Archie stayed in the kitchen, as much as he wanted to go out there and punch Max's lights out, this was between husband and wife.

"Lexie" Max cried surprised

"Hello Max" Lexie replied sitting on the sofa looking up at him.

"Er listen, the other day, when your mother came in…it wasn't what it looked like" Max started to explain but Lexie put her hand up to him.

"I don't want to hear your petty excuses this time Max"

"There not excuses Lexie, please listen to me"

"No Max, I'm fed up of listening! All that comes out of that trashy mouth of yours is lies! All lies! BIG FAT LIES!" Lexie shouted back standing up to face him.

"Oh and your as innocent as an angel are you?"

"I'm not the one having an affair!"

"Who said I was"

"My mother told me"

"Your mother, and we're supposed to go on facts your mother told you?"

"Listen my mother did some bad things, but lying to me wasn't one of them"

"So who is she then?" Lexie demanded to know

"Who?"

"Oh don't talk crap Max, I know you might as well tell me everything now"

"Oh just shut up Lex"

"Is she the same one as before?"

"Before?"

"You know what I'm talking about Max, don't think I didn't know!"

Archie stood on the other side of the door, he wanted so badly to go out there and hold Lex and tell her everything would be all right.

And I leave behind, this hurricane of lies

"Look Lex, this woman from work was upset, she's a good friend of mine, I bought her back here to talk to her, when your mother came in she must of thought I was…"

"A woman from work?"

"Yeah, Leslie, you know her Lex, you've met her before"

"Yeah, Leslie was nice"

"You see, nothing happened, I was just comforting her when she was upset"

Lexie had calmed down a bit, Pamela had never approved of Max, but would she make up a lie or a story to make it seem worse so that they would break up?

"So…nothing happened?" Lexie asked

"Oh no, no Lex don't believe him please," Archie whispered to himself.

"Nothing happened" Max repeated with a calming smile as he held out his arms to Lexie. "Sorry to cause all this upset"

When there aint nowhere you can go, running away from pain when you've been victimized, tales from another broken home

Lexie paused then unsure of if he was telling the truth welcomed his arms, but as she let her head go against his chest she smelt perfume on his collar.

Archie heard nothing but silence now. Lexie had believed him, she had fallen into a trap, she had believed his lies, and now she would go back to him and he would just do it again and again. Archie wanted to do something, but what could he do? Lexie wouldn't let him love her; she wanted the security of being with Max.

_Baby I just don't get it __  
__Do you enjoy being hurt? _  
_I know you smelled the perfume, the make-up on his shirt_  
_You don't believe his stories_  
_You know that they're all lies_  
_Bad as you are, you stick around and I just don't know why_

_If I was ya man (baby you)_  
_Never worry bout (what I do)_  
_I'd be coming home (back to you)_  
_Every night, doin' you right _  
_You're the type of woman (deserves good thangs)_  
_Fistful of diamonds (hand full of rings)_  
_Baby you're a star (I just want to show you, you are)_

_You should let me love you  
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need  
Baby good love and protection  
Make me your selection  
Show you the way love's supposed to be  
Baby you should let me love you, love you, love you_

_Listen  
Your true beauty's description looks so good that it hurts  
You're a dime plus ninety-nine and it's a shame  
Don't even know what you're worth  
Everywhere you go they stop and stare  
Cause you're bad and it shows  
From your head to your toes, Out of control, baby you know_

If I was ya man (baby you)  
Never worry bout (what I do)  
I'd be coming home (back to you)  
Every night doin' you right  
You're the type of woman (deserves good thangs)  
Fistful of diamonds (hand full of rings)  
Baby you're a star (I just want to show you, you are)

_You should let me love you  
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need  
Ooh Baby good love and protection  
Make me your selection  
Show you the way love's supposed to be  
Baby you should let me..._

_You deserve better girl (you know you deserve better)  
We should be together girl (baby)  
With me and you it's whatever girl, hey!  
So can we make this thing ours?_

_You should let me love you  
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need  
Baby good love and protection  
Make me your selection  
Show you the way love's supposed to be  
Baby you should let me love you, love you, love you_

_Let me love you that's all you need baby_

_ Mario – You should let me love you _

Archie sat down depressed on the kitchen chair; he put his head in his hands. This wasn't how it was supposed to turn out, Lexie was supposed to shout at Max and then leave him, and come home with Archie. Archie gave up, he had missed his chance first time round and here he was missing it again. Just then he heard a shout from the living room.

Lexie pushed back Max away from her in disgust. Surprised by this sudden movement Max feel backwards but grabbed Lexie's arm as he went. Max hit the table with a thud and Lexie let out a scream as she went with him. Archie rushed through and saw Lexie supporting herself from falling on the table but Max still had a firm grip on her arm.

I wonder what its like to be you, to never really care how bad it hurts

Archie noticed straight away that Max was hurting Lexie. Archie didn't know that it had been an accident on Max's behalf but as he rushed over and made Max let go of Lexie, Lexie backed away and as Max got up, with a shocked expression on his face, Archie was mad.

"What did you do that for? And where the hell did you come from?" Max shouted at Lexie and Archie.

"I'm not gonna be messed around any longer Max, I'm not stupid! I don't care if I'm left as a single mum, I turned out alright and I'm sure Ami will!" Lexie yelled in reply.

"You're leaving me?" Max asked shocked

"Yes, that's right Max, I'm leaving here and Ami's coming with me, I will not have her life ruined because of you!"

"This is all your fault!" Max screamed at Archie as he took a swing for him. Archie backed out the way and Max punched the air. "You've been a problem from the start! I suppose your going back to the fairy tale castle with him are you Lex?" Max shouted

Nobody said anything for a while and Max continued to stare at Archie and Lexie.

So make the best of this test, and don't ask why, It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

"Look Max, you've been unfaithful to Lexie, she has every right to leave you" Archie stated being careful in case Max took another swing for him.

"No doubt she's been living it up with the laird here as well" Max snarled "Mind you, that wife of yours wasn't bad" Max added with a grin

"Why you little…" Archie swung a punch and hit Max right in the face. Lexie gasped in worry at the two men starting to fight.

Max got up and then hit Archie one, this time Archie didn't have enough time to react and got hit around the face.

"Please stop it!" Lexie cried running into the fight as Max went to hit another one. Instead it missed Archie and hit Lexie right in the side of the face. With the impact Lexie feel against Archie.

Max immediately realising he had hit Lexie instead of Archie, worried. Archie put his arms around Lexie and tears feel from her eyes in pain.

"Lex…oh god Lex I didn't mean to hit you, you got in the way, I'm so sorry, are you ok?" Max asked trying to comfort Lexie.

"Get away from her Max" Archie replied protecting Lexie in his arms.

"I didn't mean too…" Max's voice trailed off, as Lexie's sobs were the only thing heard.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right, I hope you had the time of your life

Archie wiped the blood away from his mouth as they sat in the kitchen, with ice on their faces. Max had left about 10 minutes ago, now Lexie and Archie sat by them selves.

"Your going to leave him, please tell me your going to leave Lex" Archie pleaded with her.

Lexie looked with her tear stained face, and nodded silently.

"You can come back to Glenbogle, back to your home" Archie stated


	13. Part 13

**Past wont go away: Story of my life – Day 13**

****

Beginning of hard times to come

Lexie stared at the text messages on her phone from Max. They hadn't stopped since yesterday. Lexie hadn't replied to any of them, Archie had told her not too. But now as she sat curled up by herself, she wondered whether she should just text him back. Suddenly the phone rang and Lexie jumped and quickly picked it up. 'Max' read on the screen and she hovered over the answer button before finally pressing it. Lexie didn't say anything into the phone until she heard a faint answer from Max.

'…Lexie' Max whispered down the phone

'What?' Lexie answered back bluntly

'Lex please… just hear me out'

'I don't want to hear anything you have to say'

'Has Archie told you not to contact me?'

'What if he has?'

'Look Lex, remember we talked about Archie before, remember when we first met… you were fed up with Archie because he couldn't make his mind up what he wanted'

'No Max'

'Look Lex, all the things you've heard, just don't listen to them, its bollocks, just think about our family Lex…what about Ami? How is she?'

'Ami's ok…she keeps asking for you'

'I want to see her Lex, I miss her…I miss you'

'Max I can't…'

'Look we'll start over Lex, make a fresh start, you, me and Ami'

'I dunno…'

'Look Lex just think about it ok…think whats best for Ami and I'll call you later ok? Love you'

'Bye Max'

Lexie hung up the phone and the tears blurred her eyesight. She looked up, blinking them away when Paul entered the room.

'Lex…' Paul said softly

'Hi Paul' Lexie mumbled her voice still quivery

'Are you alright?'

Lexie shook her head gently 'I've just had a phone call from Max'

Paul came and sat down next to Lexie and took her hand

'What did he have to say?' Paul asked

Lexie started to cry again 'He wants me to take Ami back…he wants me to go back to Glasgow and be with him'

'You're not going to go back though are you?' Paul stated

Lexie looked down and away from Paul's eyes.

'Oh Lex, please don't go back to him' Paul pleaded with her

'What else have I got to do?' Lexie snapped back at him

'I want you here…we want you here, we want you safe Lex' Paul corrected himself. Archie coughed at the doorway and Lexie and Paul glanced to his direction.

'Paul could I have a word please?' Archie demanded

'Yeah sure…' Paul replied getting up and leaving Lexie.

They stepped outside the door and Archie whispered in a angry tone 'What do you think your doing?'

'Talking to Lexie' Paul replied annoyed

'Well it didn't look like just talking'

'Hang on let me get this straight…you're the only one allowed to talk to her…the man who let her walk out five years ago…who hasn't been here for the last five years or spoken to her?'

'Don't throw this one back on me! She was the one who wanted to leave, don't you think I regret her going every day of my life?'

'Look Archie, you may of known Lexie before, but I know her as well now, and I was there when she turned up on Glenbogle's doorstep with a 6 month old baby and crying her eyes out, saying she needed to get away'

'She was looking for me'

'But you weren't here'

'I would have been…'

'No Arch, you couldn't of been, you had your own family'

'So you let her just go back to Max?'

'He turned up, what was I supposed to do, I was the laird not god, I didn't know what was going on, if I had known I wouldn't of let her out of my sight'

'Well look, shes all right now, shes here with us'

'Max just called, he wants her back, shes in there now thinking about it'

Suddenly Paul and Archie stopped arguing and turned to the door. The brothers glanced at each other and then Archie opened the door quickly. Lexie was no longer there.

'Where has she gone?' Paul asked worried

'How am I supposed to know?' Archie snapped back

'I'll check upstairs' Paul offered, breaking into a run up to the stairs. Archie paused for a moment. Lexie was upset about a man breaking her heart. Where would she go? Suddenly Archie spotted the 'Times' crossword on the table and instantly knew where Lexie would be.

He climbed hurriedly the steps up to the tower, until he reached the door at the top.

She's the best thing that's happened to me and I don't know what I'd do without her

'Lex?' Archie called sympathetically from the other side of the door. He heard sobs from the other side but no reply. 'Lexie. Please come out' Archie pleaded. There was still no reply.

Archie slid down against the wall and put his head in his hands and sighed. He loved Lexie so much that seeing her hurt was killing him inside.

'Remember last time you were up here Lex? Because of that stupid idiot Stuart. I came up here Lex I followed you back. I was so worried about you. It hurt me that you didn't believe me when I tried to tell you, but you were right, I was jealous because I loved you Lex and I still do. I was jealous when I saw you with Max. I kept thinking that should have been me; we should have been married and lived together happily. Then I saw Max bring Ami in and my heart melted she looks just like you Lex. Shes got your beautiful blue eyes and soft black hair. It angered me that she could have been mine. I could have had children with you Lex. Instead I threw it all away' Archie finished in anger as he threw his wedding ring, which he had been fiddling with against the wall.

'Arch' Lexie's voice escaped the name as she crouched on the other side of the door. Pained by his words, longing for the same dream. The key turned in the lock and the door unbolted and Archie stumbled up to stand. The door swung slowly open and a tear stained face appeared infront of Archie. Lexie gave a small smile then reached down to her hand and slid off her wedding ring and let it drop to the floor. Archie watched as the gold ring fell silently to the floor, making a thump as it hit the stone tiles. Then he looked up towards Lexie.

We're caught in a moment, and I wont let it go. I'm falling deeper, losing my control involved in a feeling like the blink of an eye and the silence it belongs to you and I

'I'm done with Max' she whispered as a smile appeared on Archie's face. He stepped forward and grasped her face in his hands and kissed her passionately, a long awaited kiss that finally bought them together for good.

'I want to start over, with you Lex, a whole new life for us and the kids, we'll all live here together at Glenbogle and we'll bring are kids up together, they will have a great childhood and we can forget Amber and Max. I love you Alexandra and I always have, please say you'll take this brainwashed idiot back' Archie questioned with a smile

Lexie let out a small laugh and it lit up her face, her eyes sparkled as she looked into Archie's brown seductive eyes. 'I couldn't ask for anything more' Lexie answered and they kissed again.

Meanwhile Paul searched Lexie's room and most of upstairs. Paul opened his niece's and nephews bedroom door and stood there shocked, as did Amber-holding Owen. Owen had his coat and shoes on and Amber was carrying a bag in her other hand. Paul closed the door behind him and stood infront of it.

'What do you think your doing?' Paul asked concerned

'I'm taking my child with me' Amber stated

Paul looked across to the floor where Sapphire sat playing with her dollhouse. She wasn't in her coat and didn't have her shoes on and he could still see all her clothes in the open draw next to him.

'Just Owen?' Paul questioned

'Look I ran into Owen's father down in London…he wants to see him, and he says he wants me back' Amber admitted

'So you were just going to take him?' Paul replied

'Well I couldn't find Archie, I suspect he is with Lexie, not looking after his children I can see' Amber answered moving closer to the door.

Paul shuddered backwards towards the door. 'Amber you know I cant just let you go with Owen' Paul stated

'Come on now Paul, how can you stick up for Archie, don't you love Lexie? Are you just going to let him come back after five years and take her from under your nose?' Amber played with Paul's mind.

'It's not like that' Paul defended Archie

'Oh come on Paul, you know it is, just admit it to yourself' Amber answered moving her hand towards the door handle.

'Look maybe I should go get Archie' Paul suggested as Amber smiled

'Go ahead' amber replied grinning

Archie and Lexie held each other in their arms at the top of the tower steps. With their wedding rings at their feet, this was to be the start of a new life for the both of them.

Paul hurriedly climbed the steps of the tower after finally guessing it must be where Archie was. He climbed quickly, scared that Amber at the bottom might run off with Owen.

Out of breath Paul reached the top to see Archie and Lexie in each other's arms. He paused as they turned around.

'Archie…Amber's here' Paul called out

'What?' Archie replied shocked as he let his grasp of Lexie go. Lexie's facial expression dropped at the mention of Amber's name.

'She wants to take Owen' Paul explained, breathing deeply

'What, no she cant. Where is she?' Archie fired the question at Paul while taking two steps at a time down the steps.

Paul remained at the top watching Lexie. A tear appeared in her eye and she smiled gently at Paul before she walked straight past him and down the steps. Paul noticed the two wedding rings on the floor and picked them up and put them in his pocket and took off down the stairs after Archie and Lexie.

Memories, good days, bad days, they will always be with me

Archie reached the bottom of the stairs and Amber stood holding Owen.

'Ah Archie, nice of you to arrive at last' Amber replied sarcastically

'Amber what do you think your playing at' Archie stated angrily

'Taking my son home with me to meet his father' Amber replied calmly

'I am his father!' Archie shouted

'No Archie your not, you have played his father but you are not his real father'

Are you sure you wanna hear more?

The words pained Archie. Since Owen was a baby Archie had taken on another mans son, which, was a hard thing for another man to do, he had treated Owen as his real son and loved him all the same. Yet here Amber was whisking him away to meet the father who had abandoned him.

'How can you let Owen see that man after how he treated you and Owen' Archie demanded a answer

'Archie, Simon did nothing to hurt me, I left him, he didn't know anything about Owen until a couple of days ago when I rang him'

'You, you lied to me!'

'Oh boo hoo Archie, what ever shall we do' Amber replied sarcastically again. Then Amber's attention turned to Lexie who appeared behind Archie. Lexie stared at Amber then moved behind Archie and walked past them.

'Lexie wait' Archie called out to her but she didn't turn around, Archie sighed again, he didn't want to be in this situation right now.

'So anyway Archie, nice seeing you again but I'm afraid I have a long drive back to Manchester now' Amber answered turning and walking away.

'Amber wait, you cant just take Owen'

'Archie look, Simon and I are getting back together, we just want our son and we'll be happy. You and Lexie can have Sapphire and live happily ever after, it only seems fair doesn't it?'

Archie looked heartbroken. He knew what Amber was saying was true. It was only fair; Owen was their son even if Archie had been a father to him the last four years.

'If you take him…can I still see him?' Archie asked quietly

'Maybe Archie, we'll see how things go' Amber answered

Tears appeared in Archie's eyes as he starred down at the boy that he had called his son.

'Can I say goodbye then?' Archie whispered. Amber's expression softened and she handed Owen over to Archie. Archie ruffled Owens red hair and kissed him on the forehead.

'Be a good boy for mummy ok, I love you very much and always will' Archie whispered to Owen as his bright blue eyes sparkled back, just like Amber's. Archie handed Owen back to Amber and gave him one last kiss and then kissed Amber on the cheek.

'Look after him, and remember I'm always here if ever he needs anything' Archie stated and Amber nodded in reply.

'Bye Arch'

Amber turned and walked away. Owen waved to Archie over Amber's shoulder. 'Bye daddy'

Tears ran down Archie's face. It was one of the hardest things he had ever done. Paul stood quietly behind Archie by the bottom of the steps.

'Arch' Paul spoke up

Archie turned round to face Paul and he felt ashamed of what he had done.

'It will be ok Arch, don't worry' Paul answered and gave Arch a brotherly hug.

'Excuse me please, I have to be alone right now' Archie replied as he made his way to his children's bedroom. Paul watched as his brother walked quietly away with his head dropped down and his feet shuffling along the floor.

Archie opened the door to his children's bedroom and Sapphire looked up at him.

'Daddy' Sapphire shouted as she ran up to him and into his arms as he sat down on the side of the bed.

'Oh Sapphire' Archie replied gripping his daughter tight. She looked at him with her bright blue eyes and her little hand reached up to his face.

'Why cry daddy?' Sapphire asked as her hand wiped the tears away

'Doesn't matter Sapphy' Archie replied as he picked his daughter up and went on to find Lexie.

You are still my love and my life

'One…two…three…four…five…six…seven…eight…and oh no!' Lexie laughed to Ami as they stacked up building blocks on her bedroom floor. Lexie thought the best way to get her problems off her mind was to play with Ami. She had felt bad, the last few days she hadn't spent much time with her daughter, she felt as she had been neglecting her in a way.

There was a knock on the door and Archie appeared with Sapphire. He placed Sapphire down on the floor next to Ami and Lexie stood up.

'Arch…' Lexie began but Archie stopped her

'She took Owen and I don't think she will be coming back again' Archie explained

'You let her take him?' Lexie replied shocked

'What choice did I have Lex? Owen's real dad wants to get back with Amber, he wants his son to be with them.' Archie answered as Lexie took hold of Archie's hand.

'It will be all right Arch, they will be a proper family like we will be' Lexie stated as she looked down at the floor at the two girls.

'Where daddy gone?' Ami asked looking up at Lexie. Lexie looked at Archie with a worrying glance.

'Me want my daddy' Ami cried again, tears forming in her blue eyes just like Lexie's.

Archie looked at Lexie then bent down and picked Ami up.

And when you take me in your arms and hold me tight,

I know it's gonna mean so much tonight

'Shhh…don't worry Ami…' Archie paused, deciding whether to say what he was thinking about saying next, and whether Lexie would accept it. So he decided to just say it anyway. 'Daddy's here' he finished and looked to Lexie for approval, she smiled and picked up Sapphire and held the four of them close together.


End file.
